Step 1: Become A Best Friend. A lot of couples discover that as their relationship has gone on in time, their roles have become increasingly more adversarial than supportive. If you have a good friend outside of the marriage, think of times when that friend has been disheartened. What kind of advice have you offered them? It can be easy to overlook the fact that that your husband or wife may need a friend-in you. Revisit your relationship and discover if you have both forgotten how to be a friend to one another. Once more, you can just control your behavior, but this is a method to lead by example in order to save your marriage. Your actions, such as making productive changes in how you talk to and behave with your partner, may be the motivation needed to get your husband or wife to want to make changes, as well. Taking a more warm approach can create a "safe" environment, one where your husband or wife may start to trust that things really can improve.
Step 2: Improve Yourself. You may wonder how you can give your "all" to the relationship and still have time for yourself. Part of giving in a relationship is being strong within yourself. You need to nurture yourself as much as your marriage, because a healthy relationship requires healthy partners and only then can you save you marriage. Various couples become adversarial because one or both partners can become hateful, feeling they've given up everything for the marriage and there has been nothing left to give to their self. It's paramount to carve time for yourself, examining your thoughts and emotions and working through your own inner struggles, as well as nurturing your own dreams and hopes.
Step 3: Deepen Your Own Commitment. Regardless of the effort your husband or wife is or is not making in trying to save your marriage, you can enhance your own efforts in committing to saving the relationship. You may have already been pulling double-duty in terms of giving your marriage everything you've got. Now, if you wish to save your marriage, you may need to draw on your inner reserves of strength and give a little bit more. No one can decide for you what your marriage is worth, and what you are willing to do in order to save it. But if you feel strongly about saving your marriage, the resolve in deciding that you're committed to do so will help you feel empowered.
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